Anonymous
“One is never truly mature until they are no longer satisfied by mediocrity.”
Wise words from my tutor, Mr. Ray Rosatone.
As the time left until graduation grows shorter and shorter, I find myself reflecting on how much has changed over the course of the past four years. It’s been such a crazy journey, and I can’t believe it’s almost over. It seems like no time at all has gone by, but it also seems like it’s been a lifetime.
My freshman year, I entered Haverhill High’s Classical Academy, a program that I tested into for the top 50 students in the Class of 2012. Halfway through the year, I had a mental breakdown and attempted suicide. I was hospitalized for several weeks, and upon returning to school, I decided to switch into regular honors classes instead of rejoining the Classical Academy.
Sophomore year, things really started looking up for me. I had come out as a lesbian to my parents and all of my friends. I met these two incredible girls named Taylor Sheppard and Marissa Villafane, and in no time at all, they became my best friends and two of the most important and influential people in my life. Something just clicked for me with Marissa, and before I knew it, I was falling head over heels for this beautiful girl. I could not ever do justice in trying to explain how incredible our friendship was, but to put it simply, she remains the deepest bond that I have ever had to another human being.
Junior year, things got ugly. There were a lot of things said and done between Marissa and myself, and from it grew a deep anger and resentment towards each other. Despite this, we still loved each other very much.
Senior year, Marissa moved 100 miles away to go to school at UMass Dartmouth. At first, things were alright, and we were able to maintain our friendship by texting all day, talking on the phone, and seeing each other once or twice a week. After a while, the anger and resentment that was lingering got the best of our friendship, and eventually we decided it would be best for us to not talk anymore, but to leave things on good terms.
Last night, I drove to Marissa’s old apartment that she hasn’t lived in for 8 months now. I didn’t even realize where I was going until I was already there. I began thinking about her, and I realized that I had spent so long focusing solely on the anger I still felt, I hadn’t even thought about the good things in a very long time. I began to remember some of my favorite memories from our friendship, and that’s when I realized that I wasn’t mad anymore. I no longer resented Marissa for what happened. In fact, I really missed her. I missed her pancakes. I missed coming home to her after a long day at work. I missed her smell. I missed her voice. I missed her laugh. I missed our bond.
While I was sitting in my car, thinking about all of this, I realized what Mr. Rosatone meant. He didn’t mean mediocrity just in my work, he meant in my life. I am no longer satisfied with mediocrity. For so long, I have said that I would do absolutely anything for Marissa…apparently the one thing I wasn’t willing to do was let go of my anger for her. That is no longer okay with me. I am truly and genuinely sorry from the bottom of my heart.
Upon entering high school, I was young, naive, and terrified. Today, I am far more mature, more knowledgeable, and confident. I’m ready for whatever life has in store for me, and I can’t wait to start. I owe a lot of people credit for helping to shape me into the person I am today, but honestly, the biggest influence on my life has been Marissa Villafane. If she hadn’t pushed me as much as she did, my life would be far less than mediocre.
